I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
