glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
