I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
How external is "for external use only"?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
