scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
