Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
