And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
