my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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