I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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