Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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