Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
