i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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