am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
