i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
