Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
