well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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