glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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