So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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