Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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