WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
