You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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