Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
