PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
