Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
