She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize