Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
