Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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