hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
