You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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