she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
