Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize