You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
