i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
