I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
