Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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