he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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