her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
