Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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