Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He shit in the fireplace
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
