Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
