Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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