and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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