I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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