I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
