So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize