she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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