Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
