you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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