how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
