I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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