I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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