Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
