I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
