the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
