Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
