Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
