Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
