someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
