she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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