And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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