She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
