i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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