i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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