Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
