Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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