If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
