Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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