I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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