There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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