I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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