If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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