Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
