I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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