I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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