I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
