Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
