Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
