im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
