eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
