im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
