YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
