He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
