I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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