I like to think it a success when the cops are called
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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