Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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