I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He passed out mid-signature
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
