I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
