We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
