the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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