Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
