We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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