the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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